VVS Laxman: Australian for Fear

Source: Hindu

Source: Rediff

Source: Hindu

1. Fosters have started a new campaign: VVS Laxman, Australian for Fear.
2. The scale which measures 'resistance to pressure' (or 'resilience') has been edited. 'Laxman against Aussies' is the maximum achievable value.
3. Cockroaches originated in Australia. This is proved by the fact that they are killed by application of Laxmanrekha.
4. Team India has changed the phrase 'one-man army'. From now on it is known as the 'Lax-man Army'.
5. People have complained that Laxman doesn't do much in the Ramayan. It was because Raavan was from Sri Lanka and not Australia.
6. Indian students put on high alert in Australia, they are the only Indians in the universe criticizing Laxman today.
7. Gandhi's last words were - 'Hey Ram', Ponting's last words would be 'Hey Laxman'.
8. There is a cheat code in the International Cricket 2010 video game that lets you have two Laxmans in your team. Australia has complained to the ICC and the UN Atrocities Commission against this.
9. Australia is called 'Down Under' not because of its location on the map, but because of their state after Laxman bats against them.
10. In the last continental drift, Australia broke away from Asia. They knew Laxman was coming, and were trying to get away.
11. Kangaroos keep their young in a pouch in their bellies to protect them from Laxman.
12. A new festival has been instituted in India. Lord Ram's conquest over Lanka is currently celebrated as Ramnavami. Laxman's conquest over Aussies has given way to a five day festival called Laxmanpanchmi. Ravan is replaced by Ponting, and the 10 heads by heads of Aussie players. Instead of an arrow killing Ravan effigy, finale includes a bat hitting a ball and bringing down the modified effigy. Ishant is happy to play the role of Hanuman.
13. When someone dies in Australia, they chant 'Laxman naam satya hai'.
14. Ricky Ponting doesn't need to watch horror movies. He just sets up a slideshow of Laxman pictures.
15. The Ashes have a new meaning in Australia - they are what you're reduced to when Laxman is done with you.
16. Sachin is one of the most common first names in India today. In 10 years, it will be Vangipurappu.
17. There is a brand of shoes in Australia that is used to discipline donkeys. Its name: VVS Laxman, because Laxman kicks your ass.
18. The day VVS Laxman retires from Test cricket, it will be a National holiday in Australia.
19. Reports coming in from Cloud 9 indicate that this is the first time when more people are chanting Laxman than his much more revered brother Ram.
20. The Laxman fan club have applied for his canonization. They already have proof of his miracles, the latest one involving the Cricinfo server crash. The first time such an out of the world thing happened was when an existing God scored 200.

Source: Lolland